In my last blog-which I apologize was written almost two weeks ago. I started to explain some of my crazier experiences at E! The next two situations pretty much explain why I have no desire to return to Hollywood-but these stories are also great Happy Hour fodder in DC.
So-One Happy, hot, and hellish Wednesday afternoon in L.A. 2001 that's about 6 weeks before 9/11-E!Online hosted Brett Ratner for an edition of FILM SCHOOL! For those who do not know anything about him.. I will explain. He is a director-a Hollywood ingenue of the moment-although he's a man-He directed the infamous Mariah Carey Heartbreaker video, Family Man, and the Rush Hour movies to name a few of his credits. http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0711840/ Check that link for more.
He's a lively and passionate person who on set, came off as a nice although somewhat egotistical man. Oh well. Trust me, he could have been drunk, somewhat beligerent, and demanded a make-up artist as one of the other directors did...who shall remain nameless...
Unfortunately, Brett decided to bring his Assistant Director, his publicist from PMK, and his best friend. Whoopee! I guess they usually travel in packs as most jackals in training do....or chickens..don't ask. His publicist was a freak, I hope that this woman is no longer his publicist because she scared the hell out of me and everyone in the place-who actually remembers her.
I, was overly excited, eager to please, and young. A.K.A. STUPID, at the time. One of the writers asked if someone could take Brett's publicist, his Assistant Director, and his best friend to the Studio room B to watch the online feed. That would be the questions imputed, the online footage, blah, blah. So, I volunteered to take the Publicist, his Assistant Director, and his best friend to Studio B-or the other room within E's facility of filming rooms. These are arranged in non-descript corridors, dark, and quite frankly labrythine to find your way through..especially if you are a young intern.
We went out to the Lobby to meet Brett's best friend. That went smoothly, I took them to the refreshment room. That was not so good, the Publicist got angry, started screaming at me to find the Studio Room B and gave me a panic attack. I tried to take them to find the Studio Room B since giving them a chance to get water and refreshments was so disdainful...but, I blanked...I had only been there one other time and with the three of them following me while this crazed-I believe coked out woman-shrieked at me. I simply couldn't think.....
I ended up vainly running around while they stood in the hall opening broom closets, empty studio rooms, whatever I could find-and finally getting one of the other Writers- to show them where the Studio was...to make up for my mistake. I went to get them water. This took awhile since E! wanted me to use their specially labeled E! water bottles. When, I came back the Publicist was giving me dirty looks and the Assistant refused to acknowledge me. The only person who was friendly to me was his Best Friend. He seemed to be the only person who figured-that I was just a young, easily confused intern- the publicist seemed to think I was either brain damaged or the most evil, malignant, and useless person she had ever met......and that she wanted me nowhere near her.....and who could blame her? She had plans-business to do... and fat, tall, red heads who can't find their way around studio rat mazes are well-horrid.
I should probably stop to describe his publicist- a tall, asian, very attractive, thin woman, wearing crocidile leather pumps, a black dress, and carrying one of the most beautiful blonde leather purses I have ever seen.....she also seemed to have hankering to be in one of his movies. I can only guess what movie franchise she wanted to jump on.....ruoH hsuR PART III???? The return of Jackie Chan, Chris Tucker, the duo will now be embellished by the beautiful coke snarfer in this action packed follow up to the wonderful Part Deux of the original film.
It was horrible. I got Hollywood royalty- or at least the Courtiers lost for all of a minute. And what an embarassment..but it has given me a good chance to laugh since then...and when I call myself fat- I mean not anorexically thin-because that's what you have to be in Hollywood to avoid criticism.
Brett Ratner himself was very entertaining-telling us that we should just give the camera to a fat girl in Nebraska with big bangs-in response to the question of Independent film development..he was really funny-in the bad sense-I mean the we are laughing at you- not with you sense. But, he's a millionaire and I am NOT. He was very proud to tell you that he had dated Rebecca Gayhart and would happily date her again.. I bet he ate those words....she rain over a 9 yr old boy two days later in a hit and run accident while she was driving her car and talking on a cell phone.(Tragic) Her status went down after that...and so did her weight. For those who don't know-she was the Noxzema girl in the 1990's and had a great part in Jawbreaker. (Love that movie.)
Anyways, what struck me about that day was how easily people got freaked out over nothing. Nothing, I mean I fixed the problem, found someone to get them to the other room, and stayed polite. All of these things matter to me...but Brett was definitely giving the stupid, fat, red head dirty looks on his way out as the Publicist told him what happened.....nothing like that has ever happened to me in D.C.
( I would also like to observe a moment of silence for the dearly departed President Ronald Reagan. Here's one for the Gipper.)
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