Is it possible that people are addicted to conflict?I think this question would have a fairly obvious answer for anyone who works in politics. I mean certain people-we sad souls that devote ourselves, or at least the most neurotic part to the drive to vanquish a certain enemy or foe?
Osama Bin Laden is a great example of someone who is addicted to conflict. I believe has outright admitted that he cannot live without a cause. Well, he says that even if the U.S. is no longer an issue to him one day, he will just look for the next threat to his empire or the Muslim world. (Well, I personally think it's mostly his empire-hopefully he'll be dead or in a prison before that becomes an option. ) But what about the average person-who needs no nuclear weapons or desires anyone's actual physical death?
I ask this because I hear too often these days-that life is boring after the presidential race. Saturday night live is boring, the news is boring, normal American life is boring. And I start to think that maybe a certain number of people are obsessed with- driven by the force of the fight to win an election or contest of some sort.
Anyways, I too have an obsession with the race to disempower those I cannot stand the influence of.. while I was starting to get a headache during the last week of the election from the endless rantings of liberal politicos and my own obsession with Bush' s kick butt win for the safety of our country-I find myself now strangely...empty. Much of my merrymaking time revolves around the image of those in the media-who annoy me.
I have come to grips with the fact that I like to analyze, tear apart, and make fun of certain media personalities in the Nation's capitol and Hollywood. Take for example Senate Minority leader Tom Daschle: Nothing makes me happier than ripping on Tom Daschle-I can still dissect in detail his ridiculous rants against the president during the Winter of 2003 on CNN and other media outlets. I really like doing it.
In my mind's eye political cartoon style-I would depict Daschle as a small puffy white poodle nipping at Bush's pant legs. That's really how I see him most of the time.
But what is this? Can it be? It seemed like only yesterday (the Fall of 2002) that Rep. Thune lost his race in South Dakota to Senator Tim Johnson and their were mutterings of the future battle to come with Daschle for his seat in the senate in 2004. Tom Daschle has been defeated and Representative Thune is now going to be Senator Thune come January 2005.
Article and link:
"SIOUX FALLS, S.D. — In a political seismic shock, U.S. Senate Minority Leader Tom Daschle went down in defeat Tuesday, edged by former U.S. representative John Thune after a bruising, $26-million contest in which Republican leaders went all out to depose the country's top-ranking Democrat."
http://www.ctv.ca/servlet/ArticleNews/story/CTVNews/1099441266429_17?hub=World
-I thought this event would make me ecstatic. Maybe it was because I stayed up so late waiting to hear Bush had won-or that Kerry was going to sue on election night-but, I felt strangely happy and.....hollow. I loved ripping on Daschle and he really was inane most of the time. He probably won't dissappear entirely- I'm sure there is a position waiting for him somewhere in politics, but without the status of Senate Minority Leader-why would he be any fun to pick on, I mean seriously. And Senator Harry Reid just hasn't been any fun so far-who knows? Maybe he will be more meaty as time passes into the new congress this Spring.
Then the next shoe dropped, Britney Spears has finally utterly come to a hault. At least for the moment.
Article and link:
Babe Gone Horribly Wrong Britney Alexander Federline: Yikes. What was I thinking? For that matter, what has she been thinking ever since she blew it with Justin, dyed her hair, momentarily teamed up with Jason A. Alexander and moved on to whiskered fertile one Kevin F.? It would be like if Jennifer Aniston left Brad Pitt for Fred Durst and then for Kato Kaelin, and then did her hair in a brown shag. Ms. B., you were once a sexy siren in the making (yes, I realize that was mucho part of the prob). But come back to the Superstar Five and Dime, Britney Spears, Britney Spears! We miss you, girlfriend! Of course, that's like expecting a millionaire makeover for...(http://www.eonline.com/Gossip/Awful/cauth/Archive2004/041223d.html)
And Scene! You see there is no one better to rip on than the Britster-because she offers that loveable and intoxicating combination of entertainment value with an utter lack of self respect. So, I can always rip on her and people actually know who she is-whereas most Americans really don't know Tom Daschle or Tom Thune. It's sad but true.
I have passed many a dull hour ripping on her songs-her desire to be like Madonna and being a pale shadow at best, her utter lack of talent-the fact that she is a marketing phenom. The way she degrades women everywhere-asking why she is still around? I share the same addiction that many people have admitted to-we love to hate her.
But, her recent marriage and public failures have made her a pitiful and marginilized celebrity.
I can't feel good picking on her anymore. I sound like a fan who keeps going why? Why did she marry Federline-didn't he just get some other woman pregnant and doesn't he have more kids already?
So, I'm left at Christmastime wondering why my life revolves around ripping so much-when I try to be so positive otherwise? And WHO? I mean WHO, will take their places? Because these days, I've got a lot to be happy about in life. Bush has been reelected and Gwen Stefani has a dance album out. The Conservatives are attacking Arlen Specter (YAH! Get him!) and Rummy(Donald Rumsfeld). It just doesn't feel the same.......and by the way MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!! And Happy New Year's!!!
Cheers Kids!!!!
Thursday, December 23, 2004
Wednesday, December 01, 2004
Figuring it out
As many of you know, the point of this blog is my career search/ struggle. It's interesting how in the last two years, well three years, I have made my way through a number of different practices. And it was only about 4 months ago that I made a real decision to pursue PR.
It was taking courses in the field at the University of Virginia that caused me to want to pursue this arena. It' s certainly a risky field, you can be fired easliy, it's competitive, and people generally don't respect you. They think PR people are inane.
What's funny though is how much work the field takes....and how people take it for granted
On the other hand, the best feeling in the world is knowing what I want to do for a living-if I could just get a job in it...I've spent a lot of time trying to get a job in Politics and gotten nowhere. But, I haven't given up the idea that I will do something in the field one day again professionally.
Right now, I am temping at this Association as an Office Manager. It's weird, I have a huge office, I make plans for the board, have my own assistant. But, I usually end up feeling like a glorified stapler or worse like the guy from "Office Space" the movie. Ya know-the middle management jackass? I carry around my cup of coffee, delegate stapling responsibilities and dream of my job in PR.
The good thing is I can do interviews and continue to look for work in PR while making money.
Until they get tired of me doing interviews and hire someone new who WANTS TO BE A GLORIFIED SECRETARY.
It could be worse though, I could be unemployed or worse working for some crazy congressman with an even crazier staff. That's the most important thing-don't work for or with people who are crazier than you! It's always a mistake. They can be the same or saner-although it's a bum deal for them-but you must avoid the crazies on a different level from you. You won't speak their language and no matter how nice you are-they will hate you for it.
I sound bitter? Bitter, you say? Well, it's time for me to have more of the creme brulee, raspberry chocolate croissant experiences that we all hope for and have in life. It's been too long for me on a diet of bitter herbs and dried jerky in the work world. I do my best, but it's been my turn for a roll on the BadJobs Train. At least I can tell myself that this is true for most people-at some point in their life-everyone goes through this......
Although some people act as if they have never had anything bad happen and have no sense of how to treat other people with compassion. I went to an interview on the hill with this Press Secretary who was looking for a Press Assistant in her ad. She called me in and when I arrived she told me that she had decided to interview all the candidates for the Deputy Position and not promote her Press Assistant.
I was nowhere near qualified for the Deputy position and she had totally done me a disservice. She took time away from my job-cost me money-and insulted me. To top it off, she then preceded to yawn her way through the interview. She dressed like a slut and had her bra hanging out at the interview. I don't know that woman's problem-and I don't care. She has a bad reputation so, I guess she earned it.
What I hate is that I am still having to go through this bull. And I will keep doing it until I get to my goal job...but it's taken me awhile to figure this out.....that I want and have to go through this process to get what I want and won't be happy until I get to my goal.
It was taking courses in the field at the University of Virginia that caused me to want to pursue this arena. It' s certainly a risky field, you can be fired easliy, it's competitive, and people generally don't respect you. They think PR people are inane.
What's funny though is how much work the field takes....and how people take it for granted
On the other hand, the best feeling in the world is knowing what I want to do for a living-if I could just get a job in it...I've spent a lot of time trying to get a job in Politics and gotten nowhere. But, I haven't given up the idea that I will do something in the field one day again professionally.
Right now, I am temping at this Association as an Office Manager. It's weird, I have a huge office, I make plans for the board, have my own assistant. But, I usually end up feeling like a glorified stapler or worse like the guy from "Office Space" the movie. Ya know-the middle management jackass? I carry around my cup of coffee, delegate stapling responsibilities and dream of my job in PR.
The good thing is I can do interviews and continue to look for work in PR while making money.
Until they get tired of me doing interviews and hire someone new who WANTS TO BE A GLORIFIED SECRETARY.
It could be worse though, I could be unemployed or worse working for some crazy congressman with an even crazier staff. That's the most important thing-don't work for or with people who are crazier than you! It's always a mistake. They can be the same or saner-although it's a bum deal for them-but you must avoid the crazies on a different level from you. You won't speak their language and no matter how nice you are-they will hate you for it.
I sound bitter? Bitter, you say? Well, it's time for me to have more of the creme brulee, raspberry chocolate croissant experiences that we all hope for and have in life. It's been too long for me on a diet of bitter herbs and dried jerky in the work world. I do my best, but it's been my turn for a roll on the BadJobs Train. At least I can tell myself that this is true for most people-at some point in their life-everyone goes through this......
Although some people act as if they have never had anything bad happen and have no sense of how to treat other people with compassion. I went to an interview on the hill with this Press Secretary who was looking for a Press Assistant in her ad. She called me in and when I arrived she told me that she had decided to interview all the candidates for the Deputy Position and not promote her Press Assistant.
I was nowhere near qualified for the Deputy position and she had totally done me a disservice. She took time away from my job-cost me money-and insulted me. To top it off, she then preceded to yawn her way through the interview. She dressed like a slut and had her bra hanging out at the interview. I don't know that woman's problem-and I don't care. She has a bad reputation so, I guess she earned it.
What I hate is that I am still having to go through this bull. And I will keep doing it until I get to my goal job...but it's taken me awhile to figure this out.....that I want and have to go through this process to get what I want and won't be happy until I get to my goal.
Tuesday, November 30, 2004
Post Thanksgiving Day Confusion
Hello Ladies and Gentlemen,
I am most apologetic for my recent lapse in typing. You see I have nothing to say for myself except that I have been really busy. I took the advice of an old contact here in DC and began taking classes through the University of Virginia to get a certificate in PR.
You can imagine my annoyance when a recent job interviewer asked me if that is a 'pseudo graduate degree' program. I don't know what that woman meant-but I know that the classes, the homework, the reading, the restricted social life, and the bills do not feel 'fake' at all. Some people are rude and I pity them.
It's been a relief to come through the election cycle and see George W. Bush back in office. It's even better to see the conservative party running the government of our country. If there is anything I cannot do anymore if sit around and keep my mouth shut while people complain about Bush. It seems that most liberals could do nothing before the election but talk about how stupid Bush was and how Kerry was the real choice.
I worked with this inane man at a temp position who spent the entire day telling me how stupid 'W' is....and how he was going to one day unite the Democratic party by doing taxes on everything. Apparently, the Democrats are fragmented because the cannot agree on what they want taxed-he would have them tax everything and be loving to one another as a result. All of this was at frenetic heights as we approached the election. His arrogance that conservatives are ultimately stupid and unkind was a form of attack that I have never witnessed. He had no internal monologue and ultimately sputtered everything that entered his emotionally weak and deranged mind.
I had moments when I felt tempted to enlighten him to the reasons why most adults become conservatives-like when he told me that he hated the amount of money the government was taking from his paycheck-how's that for cognitive dissonance?
Anyways, I did not though-I did nothing... I only ignored him, hated him, and finally pitied him. You see he had been recently dumped by his boss-who he was dating-barely been hired back as a teacher after being accused of sexual harassment at his 2/3 of the year job. And on most days looked like a dead on for 'towlie' from Southpark. Although, I wondered if speed wasn't the drug of choice on long nights from the way he talked and acted. He told me with much pride about the many times he had successfully debated teenagers and put them in their place as a teacher. Throughout all of this, I never really ripped him down, never argued with him, and never gave him the whupping he deserved. Why? Because I wanted to be professional in the workplace, and not have arguments about politics with an insipid person. I wanted to be an adult in other words.
I would expect that these days he has fallen into a depression related to the fall of Liberals from power for real in DC. There was no Floridia recall, no votes to be recounted. The election results came in, Kerry fell from grace and bowed out gracefully-Thank you Senator Kerry for that! Now, political pundits sit around on talk shows and talk about reworking the liberal movement and plot how they should react to this stunning blow. Terry McAuliffe's days are numbered and the word liberal seems like a lonely word.
The word connotates images of snobbish, out of touch Hollywood types, rich hardened people, and well nothing I want to be connected to-I should feel some sort of happiness at the win. But, I live with and around a large number of liberals-who feel no sort of shame in crying about their loss. They complain endlessly and since I endured my coworker for those three months-quietly-dutifully, I feel like being inappropriately smug, unkind, and superior myself. I think someone would say I was taking on the liberal attitude of having all the answers and not being willing to listen to people. Really all I want is to not have to listen to this crybaby attitude. I lived through Bill Clinton and the hell of having him in office-porking the world and himself all day and night.
I feel like the 'W's' reign in office is a just and deserved retribution for having to live with Bill Clinton in office for 8 years....and with that... I can continue being kind, sympathetic, and understanding when my neighbors whine and cry over the state of the liberal government in the U.S.
I am most apologetic for my recent lapse in typing. You see I have nothing to say for myself except that I have been really busy. I took the advice of an old contact here in DC and began taking classes through the University of Virginia to get a certificate in PR.
You can imagine my annoyance when a recent job interviewer asked me if that is a 'pseudo graduate degree' program. I don't know what that woman meant-but I know that the classes, the homework, the reading, the restricted social life, and the bills do not feel 'fake' at all. Some people are rude and I pity them.
It's been a relief to come through the election cycle and see George W. Bush back in office. It's even better to see the conservative party running the government of our country. If there is anything I cannot do anymore if sit around and keep my mouth shut while people complain about Bush. It seems that most liberals could do nothing before the election but talk about how stupid Bush was and how Kerry was the real choice.
I worked with this inane man at a temp position who spent the entire day telling me how stupid 'W' is....and how he was going to one day unite the Democratic party by doing taxes on everything. Apparently, the Democrats are fragmented because the cannot agree on what they want taxed-he would have them tax everything and be loving to one another as a result. All of this was at frenetic heights as we approached the election. His arrogance that conservatives are ultimately stupid and unkind was a form of attack that I have never witnessed. He had no internal monologue and ultimately sputtered everything that entered his emotionally weak and deranged mind.
I had moments when I felt tempted to enlighten him to the reasons why most adults become conservatives-like when he told me that he hated the amount of money the government was taking from his paycheck-how's that for cognitive dissonance?
Anyways, I did not though-I did nothing... I only ignored him, hated him, and finally pitied him. You see he had been recently dumped by his boss-who he was dating-barely been hired back as a teacher after being accused of sexual harassment at his 2/3 of the year job. And on most days looked like a dead on for 'towlie' from Southpark. Although, I wondered if speed wasn't the drug of choice on long nights from the way he talked and acted. He told me with much pride about the many times he had successfully debated teenagers and put them in their place as a teacher. Throughout all of this, I never really ripped him down, never argued with him, and never gave him the whupping he deserved. Why? Because I wanted to be professional in the workplace, and not have arguments about politics with an insipid person. I wanted to be an adult in other words.
I would expect that these days he has fallen into a depression related to the fall of Liberals from power for real in DC. There was no Floridia recall, no votes to be recounted. The election results came in, Kerry fell from grace and bowed out gracefully-Thank you Senator Kerry for that! Now, political pundits sit around on talk shows and talk about reworking the liberal movement and plot how they should react to this stunning blow. Terry McAuliffe's days are numbered and the word liberal seems like a lonely word.
The word connotates images of snobbish, out of touch Hollywood types, rich hardened people, and well nothing I want to be connected to-I should feel some sort of happiness at the win. But, I live with and around a large number of liberals-who feel no sort of shame in crying about their loss. They complain endlessly and since I endured my coworker for those three months-quietly-dutifully, I feel like being inappropriately smug, unkind, and superior myself. I think someone would say I was taking on the liberal attitude of having all the answers and not being willing to listen to people. Really all I want is to not have to listen to this crybaby attitude. I lived through Bill Clinton and the hell of having him in office-porking the world and himself all day and night.
I feel like the 'W's' reign in office is a just and deserved retribution for having to live with Bill Clinton in office for 8 years....and with that... I can continue being kind, sympathetic, and understanding when my neighbors whine and cry over the state of the liberal government in the U.S.
Monday, August 30, 2004
Too Long....
Hiddy Ho all,
It's been awhile since I was last able to type anything on this website. I would like to apologize that..it's all related to my recent lay off. You see I was working as a Grassroots Lobbyist-not a true Lobbyist in the grandeur of Capitol Domes and world leaders. But, a lowly talker haranging poor souls all day and sometimes in the evenings to write their Congressman about various issues over the phone.
I was lucky to have been laid off as it has led me to look for better jobs and revitalized my own sense of self. Don't get me wrong, it was fun to do that type of work for awhile....hey, let's face it, it's fun to work period when you need honest money. I got to be in politics still and at the same time take a break-stop thinking and feel a little more freedom.
You see, I still never explained how I got to DC. A life long interest in the media and politics combined with a love for writing led me here......I was going crazy-feeling freaked out with nightmares of cokeheads and power driven nuts who roamed the Hollywood Hills to ever return to the Film industry.
I at least by the begining of my Senior year of college had discovered the important thing in my life. I needed to feel as if I was accomplishing something good everyday and that I wasn't just living my life in vain. Vain as in completely for myself...although the act of wanting to affect change in the world is probably vain.
Anyways, I discovered a program called the Washington Semester through my college. I had taken occupational therapy exams at this point, cried my eyes out in front of Professors and asked a million people what I should do with my life. I had gotten a variety of answers-none that really helped. I did know that Public Relations looked interesting and that I wanted some substance in my life.
I applied for the program-to go right after graduation in the Summer following college. But, first I had to find an internship-the main focus of the program. I was given a list of places to call in my specific field of interest-Public Relations. I called many places, Amtrak, Periscope Communications, and the U.S. SBA's Office of Advocacy. I interviewed with Kathryn Tobias who immediately liked me and I liked her too. She was soft spoken, kind, and liked people. She grew up in Iowa and Racine, WI just like me. She was the child of missionaries-I was the child of a Pastor. Kathryn's kindness allowed me to interview with Jody Wharton the head of the Department of Information in the Office.
Jody liked me too and I quickily received an invitation to work at the Office that Summer in 2002. I still remember my first day in DC riding the Metro from Rosslyn to work at Federal Center Southwest. I loved the sunshine, the way people were so excited and nice. I loved the energy of DC. It feels good here, Kathy said it was 'because people feel their lives have purpose and they are here to do something great.' I would still like to think I will find that purpose but, it hasn't been that easy.
That Summer, I worked for the Office doing press releases, editing economic reports, writing economic report summaries, researching and writing a legal memo on the Copyright Arbitration Royalty Panel. I went to the Hill for hearings and learned how to feel embarassed at being a lowly intern who felt superior to the true interns who acted like children in the courtyards and halls.
I loved working in that office and wished I could have stayed there...but all the people were older and had much more career experience than I did.....they all told me to go to the Hill. They said it was 1/3 of DC and I needed to work for a Congressman to learn the city and politics. I was scared. I hadn't spent my life working on politics as a career. I enjoyed it as a dinner debate and party discussion-best done when everyone was drunk and happy....
Now, I would have to approach it seriously as a career and my past in Entertainment stood out from my resume like a bad hang over. People kept asking me about it in interviews and wondering if I really belonged in Hollywood. I don't know why.......the next part is hard to believe but, I went home from DC for a month. I came back and lived with two friends of a former co-worker. It was hard, their house contained two cats and a dog. I am deathly allergic to cats and felt tormented. But, I also was fearful of DC as a new place-I wasn't used to driving around and got lost in Anacostia once.....I couldn't find a decent apartment and was tired all the time.
I finally went back to Riverplace and got an apartment there to move into the next month. I came back to DC on the same day John Lee Malvo started his killing spree. Weird. That Saturday I went out to do campaign work for Representative Connie Morella through the NRCC and met a girl who was doing volunteer work for the NRCC. She asked me if I would take a job working for Congressman Greg Ganske. She said they needed a Staff Assistant and it would be my foot onto the Hill. I thought about it all day and finally agreed. I sent her my resume that week and after a week and a half-they asked me to come to the office.
It was great experience but, the Congressman was running a hard race agains Senator Tom Harkin. He was basically outnumbered and needed help he wouldn't get..some say he just didn't have the stuff Senator's are made of....others say Harkin is a tough candidate to beat. I don't want to get into why he lost or why he ran..he saw an opportunity to be a Senator and he took it.....I saw an opportunity to be on the Hill and I took it.
It's been awhile since I was last able to type anything on this website. I would like to apologize that..it's all related to my recent lay off. You see I was working as a Grassroots Lobbyist-not a true Lobbyist in the grandeur of Capitol Domes and world leaders. But, a lowly talker haranging poor souls all day and sometimes in the evenings to write their Congressman about various issues over the phone.
I was lucky to have been laid off as it has led me to look for better jobs and revitalized my own sense of self. Don't get me wrong, it was fun to do that type of work for awhile....hey, let's face it, it's fun to work period when you need honest money. I got to be in politics still and at the same time take a break-stop thinking and feel a little more freedom.
You see, I still never explained how I got to DC. A life long interest in the media and politics combined with a love for writing led me here......I was going crazy-feeling freaked out with nightmares of cokeheads and power driven nuts who roamed the Hollywood Hills to ever return to the Film industry.
I at least by the begining of my Senior year of college had discovered the important thing in my life. I needed to feel as if I was accomplishing something good everyday and that I wasn't just living my life in vain. Vain as in completely for myself...although the act of wanting to affect change in the world is probably vain.
Anyways, I discovered a program called the Washington Semester through my college. I had taken occupational therapy exams at this point, cried my eyes out in front of Professors and asked a million people what I should do with my life. I had gotten a variety of answers-none that really helped. I did know that Public Relations looked interesting and that I wanted some substance in my life.
I applied for the program-to go right after graduation in the Summer following college. But, first I had to find an internship-the main focus of the program. I was given a list of places to call in my specific field of interest-Public Relations. I called many places, Amtrak, Periscope Communications, and the U.S. SBA's Office of Advocacy. I interviewed with Kathryn Tobias who immediately liked me and I liked her too. She was soft spoken, kind, and liked people. She grew up in Iowa and Racine, WI just like me. She was the child of missionaries-I was the child of a Pastor. Kathryn's kindness allowed me to interview with Jody Wharton the head of the Department of Information in the Office.
Jody liked me too and I quickily received an invitation to work at the Office that Summer in 2002. I still remember my first day in DC riding the Metro from Rosslyn to work at Federal Center Southwest. I loved the sunshine, the way people were so excited and nice. I loved the energy of DC. It feels good here, Kathy said it was 'because people feel their lives have purpose and they are here to do something great.' I would still like to think I will find that purpose but, it hasn't been that easy.
That Summer, I worked for the Office doing press releases, editing economic reports, writing economic report summaries, researching and writing a legal memo on the Copyright Arbitration Royalty Panel. I went to the Hill for hearings and learned how to feel embarassed at being a lowly intern who felt superior to the true interns who acted like children in the courtyards and halls.
I loved working in that office and wished I could have stayed there...but all the people were older and had much more career experience than I did.....they all told me to go to the Hill. They said it was 1/3 of DC and I needed to work for a Congressman to learn the city and politics. I was scared. I hadn't spent my life working on politics as a career. I enjoyed it as a dinner debate and party discussion-best done when everyone was drunk and happy....
Now, I would have to approach it seriously as a career and my past in Entertainment stood out from my resume like a bad hang over. People kept asking me about it in interviews and wondering if I really belonged in Hollywood. I don't know why.......the next part is hard to believe but, I went home from DC for a month. I came back and lived with two friends of a former co-worker. It was hard, their house contained two cats and a dog. I am deathly allergic to cats and felt tormented. But, I also was fearful of DC as a new place-I wasn't used to driving around and got lost in Anacostia once.....I couldn't find a decent apartment and was tired all the time.
I finally went back to Riverplace and got an apartment there to move into the next month. I came back to DC on the same day John Lee Malvo started his killing spree. Weird. That Saturday I went out to do campaign work for Representative Connie Morella through the NRCC and met a girl who was doing volunteer work for the NRCC. She asked me if I would take a job working for Congressman Greg Ganske. She said they needed a Staff Assistant and it would be my foot onto the Hill. I thought about it all day and finally agreed. I sent her my resume that week and after a week and a half-they asked me to come to the office.
It was great experience but, the Congressman was running a hard race agains Senator Tom Harkin. He was basically outnumbered and needed help he wouldn't get..some say he just didn't have the stuff Senator's are made of....others say Harkin is a tough candidate to beat. I don't want to get into why he lost or why he ran..he saw an opportunity to be a Senator and he took it.....I saw an opportunity to be on the Hill and I took it.
Wednesday, June 16, 2004
No Man's Land
The guy next to me at work today is muttering again, at me, at himself, we trade insults for fun, and basically bicker like two year olds..he's like the little brother you always wanted and was glad you didn't have because he's so time consuming..but your life at work is so aimless that you welcome anything to make the day go faster. Everyone once in awhile I turn to him and say 'What, you still talking?'
So, I've spent some time telling you about LA and why I was turned off on the Entertainment Biz. Maybe I should explain what life was like after I left LA and went back to College that year...
Hellish, for years- okay since I was 16 I had dreamed of getting into film and changing people, society, the world through my work... I went out to Hollywood and discovered there was no place for a person with those kind of dreams, goals, or ambitions. Maybe my idea was too big, maybe I was too ambitious, but I found that not only were people in Hollywood-ignorant of the world. They saw themselves as the world, they really thought that what they wore, who they talked to, and what they did with their lives meant something.
And you know what? Sometimes they do something meaningful that gives people hope or relieves them from a stressful week at work. We watch the movies and shows to forget about our lives but when the camera shuts off, our lives keep going...we still have our Cancer, our wars, our break-ups, our pain, and if they did something good in the process, it almost seems to be because the system failed somehow-
I asked my supervisor about this at E! She said the whole industry was tainted with debauchery, egotism, and stratified. People always said it had to break, things would change, but they never did...she was basically saying 'accept the biz, or go home, kid.' I didn't go home, I never returned to a more childlike self that believed in the infinite possibilities of life.
I went to college that year feeling lost, scared, and confused. I embarked on a journey to find myself, I cried, I worked out like crazy, 9/11 hit and I found a new sense of fear and confusion. My parent's were supposed to go through New York that day and they would have been in New York at the time of the attacks if they're schedule had not been changed. The third plane went down 10 minutes from where they live in Somerset, PA.
I got ahold of them about an hour after the attacks, unfortunately some idiot called a bomb threat into our school so we were evacuated from the campus. I left with my best friend Blanka Kryszak. We went to McDonald's then Wal-Mart to stock up on essentials.
It sounds ridiculous but less than two hours after the attacks-you believe anything is possible, maybe this is it, everyone could die, or your other loved ones could be next, we didn't know how far the plan stretched- how complex the terrorist's moves were....
In the following days a girl at my school was assaulted based on race? She said two guys came out of nowhere on the street outside the school and attacked her. Later people said she was crazy and just wanted attention, who knows...I really don't have any idea.
Other students stocked up on gas because they were worried about gas prices going up or worse all the gas supplies drying up...we watched the Telethon on the TV at a friend's house while a girl-who I am no longer friend's with-screamed that she didn't know anyone in New York or DC and could give a shit about the stupid Telethon. Sometimes people really fail to impress you with their ability to care for others-or grasp of a situation's meaning.
Two days later a girl in one of my classes told us that she had studied wars in the U.S. and the propaganda behind them. She said we deserved what had happened to us for our actions in other countries.. I told her that if the people(Islamic Fundamentalists) we believed committed these attacks had indeed committed them:this war was social, political, and religious. I told her that-very calmly- that she had oversimplified a very complex situation. She was numb. The whole room was silent.
I only knew that much from a previous class I took on U.S. intervention in other countries over the last 100 years. The best example I knew was from Cairo, Egypt with it's wealthy westernized upper classes and starving over educated angry masses where Islamic Fundamentalism had become a savior to the people's resentment. The terrorists don't just fight us, they fight the wealthy upperclass in their own country who ignore their struggle.
9/11 served to solidify my need and thirst for something that meant more to people. I wanted to spend my life in way that seemed less frivolous than before and more worthwhile...
(to be continued.)
So, I've spent some time telling you about LA and why I was turned off on the Entertainment Biz. Maybe I should explain what life was like after I left LA and went back to College that year...
Hellish, for years- okay since I was 16 I had dreamed of getting into film and changing people, society, the world through my work... I went out to Hollywood and discovered there was no place for a person with those kind of dreams, goals, or ambitions. Maybe my idea was too big, maybe I was too ambitious, but I found that not only were people in Hollywood-ignorant of the world. They saw themselves as the world, they really thought that what they wore, who they talked to, and what they did with their lives meant something.
And you know what? Sometimes they do something meaningful that gives people hope or relieves them from a stressful week at work. We watch the movies and shows to forget about our lives but when the camera shuts off, our lives keep going...we still have our Cancer, our wars, our break-ups, our pain, and if they did something good in the process, it almost seems to be because the system failed somehow-
I asked my supervisor about this at E! She said the whole industry was tainted with debauchery, egotism, and stratified. People always said it had to break, things would change, but they never did...she was basically saying 'accept the biz, or go home, kid.' I didn't go home, I never returned to a more childlike self that believed in the infinite possibilities of life.
I went to college that year feeling lost, scared, and confused. I embarked on a journey to find myself, I cried, I worked out like crazy, 9/11 hit and I found a new sense of fear and confusion. My parent's were supposed to go through New York that day and they would have been in New York at the time of the attacks if they're schedule had not been changed. The third plane went down 10 minutes from where they live in Somerset, PA.
I got ahold of them about an hour after the attacks, unfortunately some idiot called a bomb threat into our school so we were evacuated from the campus. I left with my best friend Blanka Kryszak. We went to McDonald's then Wal-Mart to stock up on essentials.
It sounds ridiculous but less than two hours after the attacks-you believe anything is possible, maybe this is it, everyone could die, or your other loved ones could be next, we didn't know how far the plan stretched- how complex the terrorist's moves were....
In the following days a girl at my school was assaulted based on race? She said two guys came out of nowhere on the street outside the school and attacked her. Later people said she was crazy and just wanted attention, who knows...I really don't have any idea.
Other students stocked up on gas because they were worried about gas prices going up or worse all the gas supplies drying up...we watched the Telethon on the TV at a friend's house while a girl-who I am no longer friend's with-screamed that she didn't know anyone in New York or DC and could give a shit about the stupid Telethon. Sometimes people really fail to impress you with their ability to care for others-or grasp of a situation's meaning.
Two days later a girl in one of my classes told us that she had studied wars in the U.S. and the propaganda behind them. She said we deserved what had happened to us for our actions in other countries.. I told her that if the people(Islamic Fundamentalists) we believed committed these attacks had indeed committed them:this war was social, political, and religious. I told her that-very calmly- that she had oversimplified a very complex situation. She was numb. The whole room was silent.
I only knew that much from a previous class I took on U.S. intervention in other countries over the last 100 years. The best example I knew was from Cairo, Egypt with it's wealthy westernized upper classes and starving over educated angry masses where Islamic Fundamentalism had become a savior to the people's resentment. The terrorists don't just fight us, they fight the wealthy upperclass in their own country who ignore their struggle.
9/11 served to solidify my need and thirst for something that meant more to people. I wanted to spend my life in way that seemed less frivolous than before and more worthwhile...
(to be continued.)
Friday, June 11, 2004
Alias:Walt Disney
In my last post I played out the most embarassing and funny experience at E! But, I didn't have time to tell you my most interesting story. As part of my internship, I was given a Public Relations Media contact database to update. This required me to call scores of people across the entire Entertainment Industry from Rob Reiner's former wife to Miz Ford of Ford Models herself..and a million assistants, busybodies, and other industry courtiers......all in film, TV, music, and fashion.
I can't say people were nice because they weren't...but some places were exceptionally nice and others were incredibly rude. I have to tell you if did reflect how the workers at those companies were treated. Warner Brothers had the happiest and most helpful staff of any place..Calvin Klein was very snobby.
My job was to check our old information then find the person who we should talk to and try to re-establish our relationship with them. This was no easy task but, I guess I should have felt honored that they would let me do that......the database was three years old though...so I mostly felt retarded and ill-used....
I developed great phone skills and learned how to negotiate with people over the phone quickily-professionally and efficiently....
One day I called Disney Corporation for the West Coast in Los Angeles- I think in Burbank. But, please don't quote that part..anyways... I called thinking that I would just update the connection and move on....I asked for the best contact person for E!Entertainment Online. I got the producer for Alias, she immeddiately started screaming at me, asking me what I wanted and boasting that she was the producer for Alias and Felicity(which was still on the air at the time. I was completely flabbergasted and tried to placate her by telling her that I just wanted to update my contact information. She wouldn't listen, screamed even louder and insisted I tell her what I wanted...finally I lost my cool and yelled back "I've never even heard of Alias and I don't care about Felicity. I just need to find the best contact for our department on Media issues." It was really weird. She got really calm and was like "oh, I 'll get you so and so." This woman put me through to a Vice-President- a much calmer and rational person who gave me all the information I needed and wished me luck on the project. It was amazing.
What I learned: Sadly, I learned that yelling and being a jerk get you more of what you want among these people. So, if you hear a story about a star, producer, manager, or anyone in Hollywood that is successful being a jerk. Stop and think about it...the industry us pretty much made up of people who had to be tough and sometimes mean to make it....I also learned that knowing what you want and having confidence in yourself will go farther than being 'right' in what you are doing or even part of the in crowd...as E! was not nor ever had respect.
I can't say people were nice because they weren't...but some places were exceptionally nice and others were incredibly rude. I have to tell you if did reflect how the workers at those companies were treated. Warner Brothers had the happiest and most helpful staff of any place..Calvin Klein was very snobby.
My job was to check our old information then find the person who we should talk to and try to re-establish our relationship with them. This was no easy task but, I guess I should have felt honored that they would let me do that......the database was three years old though...so I mostly felt retarded and ill-used....
I developed great phone skills and learned how to negotiate with people over the phone quickily-professionally and efficiently....
One day I called Disney Corporation for the West Coast in Los Angeles- I think in Burbank. But, please don't quote that part..anyways... I called thinking that I would just update the connection and move on....I asked for the best contact person for E!Entertainment Online. I got the producer for Alias, she immeddiately started screaming at me, asking me what I wanted and boasting that she was the producer for Alias and Felicity(which was still on the air at the time. I was completely flabbergasted and tried to placate her by telling her that I just wanted to update my contact information. She wouldn't listen, screamed even louder and insisted I tell her what I wanted...finally I lost my cool and yelled back "I've never even heard of Alias and I don't care about Felicity. I just need to find the best contact for our department on Media issues." It was really weird. She got really calm and was like "oh, I 'll get you so and so." This woman put me through to a Vice-President- a much calmer and rational person who gave me all the information I needed and wished me luck on the project. It was amazing.
What I learned: Sadly, I learned that yelling and being a jerk get you more of what you want among these people. So, if you hear a story about a star, producer, manager, or anyone in Hollywood that is successful being a jerk. Stop and think about it...the industry us pretty much made up of people who had to be tough and sometimes mean to make it....I also learned that knowing what you want and having confidence in yourself will go farther than being 'right' in what you are doing or even part of the in crowd...as E! was not nor ever had respect.
Monday, June 07, 2004
Brett Ratner, Alias, and other reasons to leave Hollywood
In my last blog-which I apologize was written almost two weeks ago. I started to explain some of my crazier experiences at E! The next two situations pretty much explain why I have no desire to return to Hollywood-but these stories are also great Happy Hour fodder in DC.
So-One Happy, hot, and hellish Wednesday afternoon in L.A. 2001 that's about 6 weeks before 9/11-E!Online hosted Brett Ratner for an edition of FILM SCHOOL! For those who do not know anything about him.. I will explain. He is a director-a Hollywood ingenue of the moment-although he's a man-He directed the infamous Mariah Carey Heartbreaker video, Family Man, and the Rush Hour movies to name a few of his credits. http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0711840/ Check that link for more.
He's a lively and passionate person who on set, came off as a nice although somewhat egotistical man. Oh well. Trust me, he could have been drunk, somewhat beligerent, and demanded a make-up artist as one of the other directors did...who shall remain nameless...
Unfortunately, Brett decided to bring his Assistant Director, his publicist from PMK, and his best friend. Whoopee! I guess they usually travel in packs as most jackals in training do....or chickens..don't ask. His publicist was a freak, I hope that this woman is no longer his publicist because she scared the hell out of me and everyone in the place-who actually remembers her.
I, was overly excited, eager to please, and young. A.K.A. STUPID, at the time. One of the writers asked if someone could take Brett's publicist, his Assistant Director, and his best friend to the Studio room B to watch the online feed. That would be the questions imputed, the online footage, blah, blah. So, I volunteered to take the Publicist, his Assistant Director, and his best friend to Studio B-or the other room within E's facility of filming rooms. These are arranged in non-descript corridors, dark, and quite frankly labrythine to find your way through..especially if you are a young intern.
We went out to the Lobby to meet Brett's best friend. That went smoothly, I took them to the refreshment room. That was not so good, the Publicist got angry, started screaming at me to find the Studio Room B and gave me a panic attack. I tried to take them to find the Studio Room B since giving them a chance to get water and refreshments was so disdainful...but, I blanked...I had only been there one other time and with the three of them following me while this crazed-I believe coked out woman-shrieked at me. I simply couldn't think.....
I ended up vainly running around while they stood in the hall opening broom closets, empty studio rooms, whatever I could find-and finally getting one of the other Writers- to show them where the Studio was...to make up for my mistake. I went to get them water. This took awhile since E! wanted me to use their specially labeled E! water bottles. When, I came back the Publicist was giving me dirty looks and the Assistant refused to acknowledge me. The only person who was friendly to me was his Best Friend. He seemed to be the only person who figured-that I was just a young, easily confused intern- the publicist seemed to think I was either brain damaged or the most evil, malignant, and useless person she had ever met......and that she wanted me nowhere near her.....and who could blame her? She had plans-business to do... and fat, tall, red heads who can't find their way around studio rat mazes are well-horrid.
I should probably stop to describe his publicist- a tall, asian, very attractive, thin woman, wearing crocidile leather pumps, a black dress, and carrying one of the most beautiful blonde leather purses I have ever seen.....she also seemed to have hankering to be in one of his movies. I can only guess what movie franchise she wanted to jump on.....ruoH hsuR PART III???? The return of Jackie Chan, Chris Tucker, the duo will now be embellished by the beautiful coke snarfer in this action packed follow up to the wonderful Part Deux of the original film.
It was horrible. I got Hollywood royalty- or at least the Courtiers lost for all of a minute. And what an embarassment..but it has given me a good chance to laugh since then...and when I call myself fat- I mean not anorexically thin-because that's what you have to be in Hollywood to avoid criticism.
Brett Ratner himself was very entertaining-telling us that we should just give the camera to a fat girl in Nebraska with big bangs-in response to the question of Independent film development..he was really funny-in the bad sense-I mean the we are laughing at you- not with you sense. But, he's a millionaire and I am NOT. He was very proud to tell you that he had dated Rebecca Gayhart and would happily date her again.. I bet he ate those words....she rain over a 9 yr old boy two days later in a hit and run accident while she was driving her car and talking on a cell phone.(Tragic) Her status went down after that...and so did her weight. For those who don't know-she was the Noxzema girl in the 1990's and had a great part in Jawbreaker. (Love that movie.)
Anyways, what struck me about that day was how easily people got freaked out over nothing. Nothing, I mean I fixed the problem, found someone to get them to the other room, and stayed polite. All of these things matter to me...but Brett was definitely giving the stupid, fat, red head dirty looks on his way out as the Publicist told him what happened.....nothing like that has ever happened to me in D.C.
( I would also like to observe a moment of silence for the dearly departed President Ronald Reagan. Here's one for the Gipper.)
So-One Happy, hot, and hellish Wednesday afternoon in L.A. 2001 that's about 6 weeks before 9/11-E!Online hosted Brett Ratner for an edition of FILM SCHOOL! For those who do not know anything about him.. I will explain. He is a director-a Hollywood ingenue of the moment-although he's a man-He directed the infamous Mariah Carey Heartbreaker video, Family Man, and the Rush Hour movies to name a few of his credits. http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0711840/ Check that link for more.
He's a lively and passionate person who on set, came off as a nice although somewhat egotistical man. Oh well. Trust me, he could have been drunk, somewhat beligerent, and demanded a make-up artist as one of the other directors did...who shall remain nameless...
Unfortunately, Brett decided to bring his Assistant Director, his publicist from PMK, and his best friend. Whoopee! I guess they usually travel in packs as most jackals in training do....or chickens..don't ask. His publicist was a freak, I hope that this woman is no longer his publicist because she scared the hell out of me and everyone in the place-who actually remembers her.
I, was overly excited, eager to please, and young. A.K.A. STUPID, at the time. One of the writers asked if someone could take Brett's publicist, his Assistant Director, and his best friend to the Studio room B to watch the online feed. That would be the questions imputed, the online footage, blah, blah. So, I volunteered to take the Publicist, his Assistant Director, and his best friend to Studio B-or the other room within E's facility of filming rooms. These are arranged in non-descript corridors, dark, and quite frankly labrythine to find your way through..especially if you are a young intern.
We went out to the Lobby to meet Brett's best friend. That went smoothly, I took them to the refreshment room. That was not so good, the Publicist got angry, started screaming at me to find the Studio Room B and gave me a panic attack. I tried to take them to find the Studio Room B since giving them a chance to get water and refreshments was so disdainful...but, I blanked...I had only been there one other time and with the three of them following me while this crazed-I believe coked out woman-shrieked at me. I simply couldn't think.....
I ended up vainly running around while they stood in the hall opening broom closets, empty studio rooms, whatever I could find-and finally getting one of the other Writers- to show them where the Studio was...to make up for my mistake. I went to get them water. This took awhile since E! wanted me to use their specially labeled E! water bottles. When, I came back the Publicist was giving me dirty looks and the Assistant refused to acknowledge me. The only person who was friendly to me was his Best Friend. He seemed to be the only person who figured-that I was just a young, easily confused intern- the publicist seemed to think I was either brain damaged or the most evil, malignant, and useless person she had ever met......and that she wanted me nowhere near her.....and who could blame her? She had plans-business to do... and fat, tall, red heads who can't find their way around studio rat mazes are well-horrid.
I should probably stop to describe his publicist- a tall, asian, very attractive, thin woman, wearing crocidile leather pumps, a black dress, and carrying one of the most beautiful blonde leather purses I have ever seen.....she also seemed to have hankering to be in one of his movies. I can only guess what movie franchise she wanted to jump on.....ruoH hsuR PART III???? The return of Jackie Chan, Chris Tucker, the duo will now be embellished by the beautiful coke snarfer in this action packed follow up to the wonderful Part Deux of the original film.
It was horrible. I got Hollywood royalty- or at least the Courtiers lost for all of a minute. And what an embarassment..but it has given me a good chance to laugh since then...and when I call myself fat- I mean not anorexically thin-because that's what you have to be in Hollywood to avoid criticism.
Brett Ratner himself was very entertaining-telling us that we should just give the camera to a fat girl in Nebraska with big bangs-in response to the question of Independent film development..he was really funny-in the bad sense-I mean the we are laughing at you- not with you sense. But, he's a millionaire and I am NOT. He was very proud to tell you that he had dated Rebecca Gayhart and would happily date her again.. I bet he ate those words....she rain over a 9 yr old boy two days later in a hit and run accident while she was driving her car and talking on a cell phone.(Tragic) Her status went down after that...and so did her weight. For those who don't know-she was the Noxzema girl in the 1990's and had a great part in Jawbreaker. (Love that movie.)
Anyways, what struck me about that day was how easily people got freaked out over nothing. Nothing, I mean I fixed the problem, found someone to get them to the other room, and stayed polite. All of these things matter to me...but Brett was definitely giving the stupid, fat, red head dirty looks on his way out as the Publicist told him what happened.....nothing like that has ever happened to me in D.C.
( I would also like to observe a moment of silence for the dearly departed President Ronald Reagan. Here's one for the Gipper.)
Wednesday, May 26, 2004
E!Entertainment-Not so entertaining...
So-to answer the big question. How does a girl go from interning in Los Angeles at E!Entertainment Networks to living in Washington,DC and pursuing a life 180 different?
It's not easy. But, I'll sum it up like this, I had always believed that I could go out to Hollywood and create meaningful work. I would make films that inspired people, that changed the way we viewed women and the way we viewed other minority groups in the media. By my work, I would then change politics, social standards-who knows how people could be affected. This was a big dream....
My first film related internship was at CTVN(Community Television Network) in Chicago, a local documentary focused non-profit. We worked with kids from the South and West sides of Chicago to make educational documentaries that focused on topics they understood firsthand. I worked with some of the students on the idea of women in the media and the negative impact of the advertising industry on women's self image.
During this period, I met a young film student at Columbia named Spence Warren. He was a great guy, and a good person who was working at CTVN. We collaborated-after I left Chicago-and kept in touch by phone and e-mail. Together we produced a short movie in black and white about a young girl's tortured self image. I wrote the script and Spence found a young hispanic girl named Anne from CTVN to act out the monologue. The film turned out great, better than I had imagined.. we were able to get it aired on local TV in Chicago. I felt like it was a great triumph and it was the first time I had seen my work on film. A copy of the film is still in my home film collection...sometimes when I feel down about my writing and my accomplishments, I get it out and watch it..to remind myself...
So, that Summer of 2001, I moved out to Los Angeles to Intern for E!Entertainment Online. I had a column, developed great writing skills, learned to edit writing work more efficiently and discovered I had a knack for public relations...But, I found E! to be a rather lonely place with a lot of indifferent people and few friends. I made two-Celine Ohanians and Melinda Wilfred. Celine has long since moved on from her work as a writer there and Melinda still manages their photography and pictures for the website. In fact, Melinda offered me a job as her assistant last Spring. But, the job was temp to permanent and did not pay well under E!'s tight budget.
More importantly, I dreaded the idea of moving back out to Los Angeles and feared what my life would be like...I found people to be vapid, unsophisticated, and mean in this city of physical human perfection. I think of Hollywood as the backdrop to a theater stage with odds and ends hanging out all over the place, no cohesive theme, dust, and lonely forgotten pieces of scenery just sitting around waiting for someone to use them.....I met a lot of people. I actually assisted on a show at E! called Film School which, allowed me to meet action film directors Jan DeBont, Martin Campbell, John McTiernan, Richard Donner, and Brett Ratner.
The realization that I did not belong there in that environment came when I was waiting to start production on the newest show. As I stood outside of the studio room, some of the girls were joking about how they liked to shop. It was actually a funny conversation detailing how small one needs to be to fit into the jeans sold in Sunset Blvd. shops. But, then one of the ladies started talking about how if she got pregnant, she would be miserable because she wouldn't be able to shave her crotch. Do you understand, she was telling us she would have an abortion because her pubic hair would get unruly during a short 9 month period???!!! Are you kidding me? We all get a little self-conscious at the idea of being pregnant and out of shape..but this was beyond my comprehension. AND the other woman agreed with her!!!! I knew than that I could not live in this place, or work in Hollywood. I could not stand to be in this environment that took life and people so lightly and saw them as dispensable....what I didn't realize is that my entire life course would change after that moment.
There were really funny moments along the way, getting Brett Rather's best friend, assistant, and publicist lost was one of them, or getting into an argument with the main producer of Alias and actually cutting her down to size...it was an amazing experience in some ways...(to be continued)
It's not easy. But, I'll sum it up like this, I had always believed that I could go out to Hollywood and create meaningful work. I would make films that inspired people, that changed the way we viewed women and the way we viewed other minority groups in the media. By my work, I would then change politics, social standards-who knows how people could be affected. This was a big dream....
My first film related internship was at CTVN(Community Television Network) in Chicago, a local documentary focused non-profit. We worked with kids from the South and West sides of Chicago to make educational documentaries that focused on topics they understood firsthand. I worked with some of the students on the idea of women in the media and the negative impact of the advertising industry on women's self image.
During this period, I met a young film student at Columbia named Spence Warren. He was a great guy, and a good person who was working at CTVN. We collaborated-after I left Chicago-and kept in touch by phone and e-mail. Together we produced a short movie in black and white about a young girl's tortured self image. I wrote the script and Spence found a young hispanic girl named Anne from CTVN to act out the monologue. The film turned out great, better than I had imagined.. we were able to get it aired on local TV in Chicago. I felt like it was a great triumph and it was the first time I had seen my work on film. A copy of the film is still in my home film collection...sometimes when I feel down about my writing and my accomplishments, I get it out and watch it..to remind myself...
So, that Summer of 2001, I moved out to Los Angeles to Intern for E!Entertainment Online. I had a column, developed great writing skills, learned to edit writing work more efficiently and discovered I had a knack for public relations...But, I found E! to be a rather lonely place with a lot of indifferent people and few friends. I made two-Celine Ohanians and Melinda Wilfred. Celine has long since moved on from her work as a writer there and Melinda still manages their photography and pictures for the website. In fact, Melinda offered me a job as her assistant last Spring. But, the job was temp to permanent and did not pay well under E!'s tight budget.
More importantly, I dreaded the idea of moving back out to Los Angeles and feared what my life would be like...I found people to be vapid, unsophisticated, and mean in this city of physical human perfection. I think of Hollywood as the backdrop to a theater stage with odds and ends hanging out all over the place, no cohesive theme, dust, and lonely forgotten pieces of scenery just sitting around waiting for someone to use them.....I met a lot of people. I actually assisted on a show at E! called Film School which, allowed me to meet action film directors Jan DeBont, Martin Campbell, John McTiernan, Richard Donner, and Brett Ratner.
The realization that I did not belong there in that environment came when I was waiting to start production on the newest show. As I stood outside of the studio room, some of the girls were joking about how they liked to shop. It was actually a funny conversation detailing how small one needs to be to fit into the jeans sold in Sunset Blvd. shops. But, then one of the ladies started talking about how if she got pregnant, she would be miserable because she wouldn't be able to shave her crotch. Do you understand, she was telling us she would have an abortion because her pubic hair would get unruly during a short 9 month period???!!! Are you kidding me? We all get a little self-conscious at the idea of being pregnant and out of shape..but this was beyond my comprehension. AND the other woman agreed with her!!!! I knew than that I could not live in this place, or work in Hollywood. I could not stand to be in this environment that took life and people so lightly and saw them as dispensable....what I didn't realize is that my entire life course would change after that moment.
There were really funny moments along the way, getting Brett Rather's best friend, assistant, and publicist lost was one of them, or getting into an argument with the main producer of Alias and actually cutting her down to size...it was an amazing experience in some ways...(to be continued)
Tuesday, May 25, 2004
Why....
I don't know why a person would start a blog, extreme narcissism, boredom, angst, anxiety, for fun, out of frustration?
I think that's where I will start..ya see..it's not a simple story. But, I'll tell you the basics. I live in DC, I'm 24 yrs old, I dabble in politics, have a dog, and I have been underemployed-that's working without decent pay at a non-career job for almost 6 months. That's right-6 months.
I am sometimes although not always on the verge of what my other 20 something friends jokingly call a midlife crisis or mid 20crisis. Why? High expectations for myself, from my parents, from friends, for life...too many bills and not really knowing if I will find the answers to my career problems...has made me well....nuts.
One other thing, I love to write, research papers, newspaper articles, fiction-I've written a book on my own, volumes of poetry and I am on the verge of finishing my first play since, I was 18 yrs old. Writing makes me happy because it feels so good...
So, that's how I came to start this blog, to talk about my escapades around DC. Spout off about politics and celebrities and try understand this weird spot I am in...I will try to explain in the next posting..how I came to DC..when three years ago, I was a movie obsessed kid living in LA talking about politics, great literature, and philosophy thinking I would change the world with my ideas...and now.. I live in DC, feel frustrated, can't find work in my field of interest(Media Relations)and worry that I am wasting my life....
I'm a fun girl-no really-I like to dance, love to socialize...I even just got a new boyfriend...so just give me a few minutes of your time..and please drop back by...
I think that's where I will start..ya see..it's not a simple story. But, I'll tell you the basics. I live in DC, I'm 24 yrs old, I dabble in politics, have a dog, and I have been underemployed-that's working without decent pay at a non-career job for almost 6 months. That's right-6 months.
I am sometimes although not always on the verge of what my other 20 something friends jokingly call a midlife crisis or mid 20crisis. Why? High expectations for myself, from my parents, from friends, for life...too many bills and not really knowing if I will find the answers to my career problems...has made me well....nuts.
One other thing, I love to write, research papers, newspaper articles, fiction-I've written a book on my own, volumes of poetry and I am on the verge of finishing my first play since, I was 18 yrs old. Writing makes me happy because it feels so good...
So, that's how I came to start this blog, to talk about my escapades around DC. Spout off about politics and celebrities and try understand this weird spot I am in...I will try to explain in the next posting..how I came to DC..when three years ago, I was a movie obsessed kid living in LA talking about politics, great literature, and philosophy thinking I would change the world with my ideas...and now.. I live in DC, feel frustrated, can't find work in my field of interest(Media Relations)and worry that I am wasting my life....
I'm a fun girl-no really-I like to dance, love to socialize...I even just got a new boyfriend...so just give me a few minutes of your time..and please drop back by...
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